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The doctor is in
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magefeathers
Mage
Artist | Hobbyist | Artisan Crafts
United States
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(( Okay, but....?))

Journal Entry: Sat Apr 15, 2017, 11:02 PM


...is it possible to hate yourself for being successful? Because to be honest, that's the only way to really describe how I feel right now. I'm privileged to say I've never failed, and even the failures I've had were minimal. I could have gone to any school I wanted to, but I was lazy. I've stuck with this job so long (10 years) and I'm happy with it, but I've gone from Sales Manager, to General Manager and am now about to become District Manager of multiple pet stores in the area. I've always tried to maintain a low work load on myself in order to do things that are creatively satisfying. Painting, drawing, plushie making...being able to attend conventions and the sort, but that's not possible any longer. I have to be on call 24/7, but am managing multiple stores, planning events, responding to complaints, doing all that good stuff, but not what feels right.

I can't dedicate myself to what I love. I watch shows, listen to remixes, examine every little bit of animation, concept art and can't help but think that could of been my work. I could have animated. I could have drawn, written, storyboarded to my heart's content, but I went the safe route. What would put a roof over our head, food on our table, but not something I'm happy with. I'm GOOD at it. And I know that I'm helping others care for their families, make sure they have a job, know how to do their job, but my job's not HARD. Anyone with an optimistic attitude and half a brain can do it. I can't start writing any stories I have in my head, because by the time I get comfortable and in a position I can start writing, it's time for me to go to bed to make sure I'm ready for my full time job. Any time I have an idea or on the cusp of a breakthrough, I can't stop and mull it over because I have other shit to do.

I hate it. I hate it. I HATE. IT. And now I'm going to work several times as hard as before for the same income and more time on the clock. I just can't let go and say 'fuck what I want to do', but basically I'm being forced to do so if we want to have a roof over our head, food on our table and so on.

  • Listening to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avVUXOGMpyY&index=

Activity


New Medium Poro Plushie
It's been three years since I first made my poro plushies, so I figured it was about time to put some more details into them and re-introduce them onto my Etsy! Each poro is approximately 10-11" all around, made of soft, huggable fabric and safety craft eyes. Get them while they last! Available here on Etsy!
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(( Okay, but....?))

Journal Entry: Sat Apr 15, 2017, 11:02 PM


...is it possible to hate yourself for being successful? Because to be honest, that's the only way to really describe how I feel right now. I'm privileged to say I've never failed, and even the failures I've had were minimal. I could have gone to any school I wanted to, but I was lazy. I've stuck with this job so long (10 years) and I'm happy with it, but I've gone from Sales Manager, to General Manager and am now about to become District Manager of multiple pet stores in the area. I've always tried to maintain a low work load on myself in order to do things that are creatively satisfying. Painting, drawing, plushie making...being able to attend conventions and the sort, but that's not possible any longer. I have to be on call 24/7, but am managing multiple stores, planning events, responding to complaints, doing all that good stuff, but not what feels right.

I can't dedicate myself to what I love. I watch shows, listen to remixes, examine every little bit of animation, concept art and can't help but think that could of been my work. I could have animated. I could have drawn, written, storyboarded to my heart's content, but I went the safe route. What would put a roof over our head, food on our table, but not something I'm happy with. I'm GOOD at it. And I know that I'm helping others care for their families, make sure they have a job, know how to do their job, but my job's not HARD. Anyone with an optimistic attitude and half a brain can do it. I can't start writing any stories I have in my head, because by the time I get comfortable and in a position I can start writing, it's time for me to go to bed to make sure I'm ready for my full time job. Any time I have an idea or on the cusp of a breakthrough, I can't stop and mull it over because I have other shit to do.

I hate it. I hate it. I HATE. IT. And now I'm going to work several times as hard as before for the same income and more time on the clock. I just can't let go and say 'fuck what I want to do', but basically I'm being forced to do so if we want to have a roof over our head, food on our table and so on.

  • Listening to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avVUXOGMpyY&index=
Curiosity Killed the Dipper
Alright, not really headcanon/canon or anything of the sort. Just an idea for a picture that I needed to get 'paper'. I had a dream that Dipper was having some issues with a particularly nasty bully and turned to some paranormal means of dealing with the problem (the journal described an interdimensional being that saps the strength of whoever its sicced on). 'course, in the dream I had, Antigone (creature shown here) was much smaller when first summoned and seemed relatively harmless at first, just sap some of the strength from the offending bully allowing Dipper to win in a fight against said enemy. Unfortunately, there wasn't an effective way at dispelling her and continued to drain the energy from more and more people, leading to an increased size and an increased appetite for life energy. She really is just trying help her summoner, REALLY.
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What would you guys like to see more of from me? 

50%
2 deviants said Fan Art (comment?)
25%
1 deviant said Dragons/Creatures
25%
1 deviant said Plushies/Crafts
0%
No deviants said Plague Doctors

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:iconnothing2say1:
Nothing2Say1 Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2015

Everyone has a story of non-fiction. Either about someone else or ourselves, we all have something worth telling. Join us by telling your story in whatever media you chose.

 

dynsiwmper.deviantart.com/jour…

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:iconuszatyarbuz:
UszatyArbuz Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2015   Digital Artist
Hello, thanks for the fav! Have a good day Hug
Reply
:iconharleythesirenxoxo:
HarleyTheSirenxoxo Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday, Nissa Baybee! :tighthug: :party: :cake: 

I'm so sorry I haven't gotten back to you yet! :( He had an issue at the bank; he switched and apparently it affected his paypal. :stupidme: I'll see if it's fixed and if he can order them this weekend.
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:iconrogerthebird:
rogerthebird Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Happy birthday. Have a cookie.

:iconcookie1plz::iconcookie2plz::iconcookie3plz:
:iconcookie4plz::iconcookie5plz::iconcookie6plz:
:iconcookie7plz::iconcookie8plz::iconcookie9plz:
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:iconcottoncattailtoony:
CottonCatTailToony Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Happy birthday!!!
:cake:
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:iconmagefeathers:
magefeathers Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Squee! Thank you so much! :iconspazhugplz:
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:iconcottoncattailtoony:
CottonCatTailToony Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Anytime ;)
Reply
:iconcottoncattailtoony:
CottonCatTailToony Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Hi there!
Reply
:iconmagefeathers:
magefeathers Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
HAI.
Reply
:iconcottoncattailtoony:
CottonCatTailToony Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
How are you doing? :)
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